Thursday, August 29, 2019

Dahlia, 2005 to 8/12/19

I haven't posted here in a long time. I don't know why. I guess with the advent of Facebook and so many other places to post quickly and interact with people, blogs have sort of fallen by the wayside. Mine more than others, perhaps.

But the news from our part of the world is bad. We have lost our best girl.

In June 2018, we took Dahlia in for her usual yearly appointment. Because of her age and because we had a wellness plan that included yearly blood-work, we opted to do that. The vet found her kidney levels slightly elevated, but she didn't seem worried. She said sometimes if they're a little dehydrated, that can happen. It was so slightly elevated, that we thought little of it.

We went on vacation the end of that month. While on vacation, Dahlia started to not want to eat her kibble. She'd eat it, but slowly, or wouldn't finish it.

We first chalked it up to stress.

Then we chalked it up to her getting older and maybe it didn't smell as good. If we put a little canned food in with it, she scarfed it right down.

We weren't terribly worried.

Then she wouldn't finish the food if it had any kibble in it at all. We started to worry a bit and talked about getting her in. We attributed it to pain and so thought maybe the placement of the food made it hard. So we got her raised bowls.

It didn't make a difference.

By September, she wasn't finishing her canned food.

And then she wouldn't eat it at all.

We took her into the vet on September 8. That morning she had woken up lethargic, didn't seem to want to get up, wasn't interested in food. I was able to hand-feed her some hamburger, but she wouldn't touch anything else. We were still thinking pain. I wondered about her teeth. Maybe there was an issue there.

There wasn't.

The vet agreed that she was probably in some pain, but we still weren't sure that it was enough to stop her from eating. But the vet said it could be, since it's hard to judge how bad off a dog is regarding pain. So we ran some blood tests again. Because NSAIDs are processed through the kidneys, you need to keep a close eye on them if you're going to give a dog anything like that.

And that's where we discovered the truth. That slightly elevated kidney level from back in June? It meant something. We should have paid more attention. Dahlia had chronic kidney disease. Her kidneys were failing. And she was already in stage 3.

Signs all pointed to losing our girl sooner rather than later.

She was given some fluids and we were sent home to try to figure out how to feed her a low phosphorus diet. We tried recipes we found online (she'd nibble at it and leave most of it). We eventually tried a prescription diet (she'd sometimes eat some of it, but mostly nibbled at that too). She lost weight. A lot of weight. She was in and out of the vet's office as we tried to get her to eat and stabilize.

Around November, I threw in the towel with the prescription diets. I started to look for anything she might be willing to eat, especially anything that wouldn't give her diarrhea. She ended up eating steak mixed with a bit of her kibble. Is it a good food for dogs with kidney disease? Nope. Not really. But I thought "eat now and maybe live for awhile...or starve and we lose her NOW." We bought a LOT of steak, cooked it up nice and rare (plenty of water in that!).

And I gave her Meclizine again. You might remember that from her vestibular disease episode. It was supposed to help with nausea. And so I thought "why not?"

IT WORKED.

She started to eat again. By the time December rolled around, she was scarfing her food. She was back to coming to stare at me at 6pm every night to tell me it was dinnertime.

She got some of her pep back. Not a lot. She was still underweight (38 lbs at the time, on a dog who should have weighed 44-45). But she was going for slow walks. She was barking with her brother at the door on occasion, and she'd egg him on in the backyard, even if she could no longer chase him.

She developed recurring UTIs. We treated those with a long course of Clavamox through November and then Baytril through to January. It finally went away.

We tried various things for pain, mostly unsuccessful. First it was a prescription medication called Gabapentin, which made her so dizzy that she couldn't even walk. She'd take a step and just faceplant. Then we tried CBD oil, which made her so lethargic and dizzy that she was completely incontinent and could barely walk.

The worst thing was that they worked for the pain. Both times the medications started to wear off, so she was able to walk and wasn't completely lethargic, she wanted to go for longer walks. But the full force of the medications, even on low doses were too much for her.

We finally found something called Movoflex, a supplement recommended to me by my agility instructor. And that one worked. Maybe not like being on an NSAID. She was still a bit achy and all, but she was able to stand with her back end straight instead of sagging. And she was able to go for short walks again. That stuff gave her months of life that I know she wouldn't have had otherwise.

We ultimately had almost a year with her from diagnosis. Far more than we ever expected. She was so sad in September that the vet and I agreed we probably would lose her by Thanksgiving. But then she was here for that. She got to go to Christmas Eve at my mom's and beg for ham. She made it through a really rough and icy winter and got to lay in the grass again.

She made it to her "Met Ya" Day on April 20, and I took her back to the place we first hung out when I transported her 11 years before that.



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She made it to her "Gotcha Day" on May 17. I never in a million years thought she'd get to there. In fact, my husband took Ben off with him to Vermont for that weekend, so Dahlia got a weekend with just her mommy. For her actual Gotcha Day, I took her over to the park we spent so much time in. We wandered around (slowly!) and laid in the grass for quite some time together.





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At the end of June, my husband again took Ben away and I had 4 days with just Dahlia. She had a vet visit scheduled and we did a urinalysis. Imagine my surprise when she had another UTI. I suppose the signs might have been there. She was needing to pee a lot, but that's also common with kidney disease. But she never strained and she had no blood in her urine. She was able to get up and get to a pee pad in the middle of the night. It worked out pretty well.

But then she went back on antibiotics. Clavamox at first again, which seemed to help but didn't clear it.

And then, toward the end of July, she went back on Baytril. I regret that. I honestly do, but I didn't know what else to do for her at that point.

We had an absolutely lovely week from July 26 through to August 4. I took the whole week off. My husband was out of town again and I decided that I would just take my vacation then to be with the dogs. I will forever be thankful that I did.

Dahlia was fantastic that week. We had a couple slow walks around the neighborhood. We had a lot of time hanging out in the shade of our backyard. She slept a lot, begged for food, ate well. She gave me her all.



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But by the end of that week, she was almost completely incontinent. She wasn't peeing outside and instead peeing in her sleep in her bed. We attributed it to the Baytril, which makes her sleepy (and the last time she had issues with incontinence on it too).

But then it got worse.

She started to struggle to pee. And then eventually didn't outside at all.

Her back end failed her completely.

On Sunday, August 11, she struggled to get up on her own. That night, she tried and couldn't. Her body just had had enough. I helped her up and she was able to drink on her own. But she had been completely panicked.

The next day, we set up an appointment for her to have the vet check her over one more time. We took her out into the backyard when I got home at 2pm and just laid there with her.  We were pretty sure there was no hope and Dahlia had told us clearly that she was done. So we petted her, brushed her, laid there with her and told her what a good girl she was. She was tired. And she was done.





We took her to the vet that afternoon and as we suspected, there wasn't anything left to try. Her kidneys were shutting down. And her body, now down to 34.5 lbs, had had enough. We let her go that afternoon.

We're at peace with the decision though God do I miss my best girl. The house is strangely quiet without her and Ben is really quite subdued. It's hard to believe she's really gone and sometimes I still think that she's just around the corner sometimes. Last night her leash and collar, that we left hanging wrapped around the leash hanger by the door fell down. No one was near it when it happened. So she's still there...somewhere...stopping by to say hello.

But for now? She's somewhere, up there, hanging out with my father, eating all the hamburgers and turkey he can offer her. I had a dream, the night before we let her go, that my Dad was feeding her hamburgers. And I knew that was a sign...he was ready for her. And he'd take care of her until we found her again.

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